Not the Witch to Get Angry
by TheOnlyJenThatCounts
Summary: Short little one-shot. It's Harry's stag night but where's Ron?


Not the Witch to Get Angry

Harry Potter, Boy-Who-Lived, savior of the Wizarding World was drunk. Sloshed. Positively pissed off his arse. He stumbled through the fireplace of 12 Grimmauld Place and nearly tripped over the stupid rug that his only female roommate adamantly argued needed to be there for decoration. Harry managed to catch himself right before he would have landed face first onto said floor covering and started to stand until suddenly he was thrown forward again. This time he wasn't as lucky. Cursing as he heard his glasses break – _again_ – he tried to push the heavy body off of him. Except it wasn't just one body – it was multiple.

"Dammit Harry, why are you blocking the floo?" Charlie Weasley moaned as he drunkenly tried to lift his twin brothers, Fred and George, off of the squashed wizard. The twins giggled as they tried to untangle their gangly limbs from each other and stand. Behind them, the floo activated again, however this time the wizards that stepped through were entirely sober and watching the chaos in front of them with undisguised glee.

"This is why I don't drink," Percy Weasley said with an annoying prim sniff. "Makes you act like complete and utter fools."

"Perce, out of all of us," the twin missing his ear began.

"You need to drink," his match continued.

"For our sake,"

"Not yours." The twins began to giggle again as they stumbled over to the sofa. "I can't believe they kicked us out." Fred collapsed onto the sofa and began to kick off his shoes.

"Really?" Percy looked astounded. "You two morons were dancing _on the bar_ while trying to remove your shirts. And that idiot," he turned and pointed to Charlie who was already looking into Sirius' liquor cabinet, "Got into a fight with someone over the mating habits of some type of dragon."

"The Eastern Spinetail," Charlie corrected. " _Some_ dragon. They aren't all the same you know."

"Not again." Bill muttered.

"It also didn't help that it's Harry stag and all the ladies wanted to give him a last hurrah," Charlie added with a laugh.

"Don't bloody remind me," Harry groaned. "They just kept touching." He shuttered with disgust. "Ginny is going to hex my bollocks off if there were any pictures."

"Nah, she'll believe you," Charlie said as he poured them shots of some muggle drink he had found. "You went out with all her brothers – we'd never bring you home alive if you'd had touched back."

"I'm surprised any of you are still talking," Bill said with amusement. "Trying to out drink a werewolf. Damn idiots."

"You're a demi," Fred said.

"Shouldn't work like a full," George added holding his head as the room spun a bit.

"I'm honestly more surprised that Percy is still out with us when Ron ran home after just a few hours," Charlie admitted. "One little text from his witch and suddenly he can't be entertained by us anymore." Harry grinned at this. Ron wasn't the only one that Hermione had wrapped around his finger and all the men in the room knew it. Hermione was a force to be reckoned with since the end of the war three years prior. She had helped the ministry rebuild itself after Voldemort's defeat, abolishing laws that had been in place for centuries, before abruptly quitting and starting her own company to help combine muggle technology with magic. Cellular phones were one of the first things she had focused on.

"If we had a witch like that,"

"Willingly waiting in bed,"

"We would have left too." The twins grinned wolfishly. It was no secret that Hermione Granger, previously bucked-toothed, bushy-haired bookworm had truly grown into her looks. A man, magical or not, had to be blind not to see how beautiful Hermione had become.

As if on cue a loud sultry moan echoed down the stairs and into the sitting room where the men were. The room instantly became quiet as they realized that Ron and his apparently very amorous witch were still occupied even though Ron hadn't been with them for at least two hours. The six men all turned red and shifted awkwardly as a louder, higher pitched scream of Ron's name vibrated through the old house.

"Oh gods," Harry held his ears. "I do not need to hear Ron and Hermione going at it. That's what bloody silencing charms are for."

"Never took Hermione for a screamer," Fred said eyes wide.

"Or for little Ronnie-kins to be…well…" George shook as he heard the witch yell for his little brother to go harder.

"Maybe she just doesn't know what she's missing," Charlie laughed. "I wonder why she is still uptight if this is how it is in the bedroom."

"Please stop talking," Harry groaned again.

A sudden low growl from Bill made everyone jump and look at the part-wolf. They stepped back when they saw that Bill's normally brown eyes were a bright gold and his lips were turned up in a snarl. They watched confused as his nostrils flared and he sniffed deeply, cocking his head to the side, as if listening to something they couldn't hear. He growled again and started to walk to the doorway that led to the stairs. "That's not –" He didn't get to finish as the floo activated once again.

Sobriety came quickly to the men as the woman they all saw as a sister stepped out of the fireplace. The petite witch quickly used her wand to clean her robes and stood up using a hand to push a wild curl out of her lovely chocolate eyes. She smiled. "I'm so sorry for the intrusion boys; I won't be but a minute. Forgot a book in my room that I think may hold the key for what we're working on." She glanced up confused as the men all started to get very angry. "Oh please don't be upset – I know it's your stag Harry and I promise I won't ruin your fun. I'll just get the book and be on my way. And I promise that as soon as I get to the lab I'll send Sirius and Remus home to join you all now that you're back from the bars."

Hermione was starting to become very concerned for the health of her family when still none of them said anything to her and none of them had moved since she had entered the room. She shook her head and tried to quietly walk through the room to get to her bedroom when Bill grabbed her arm. She tilted her head at the tall red-head and raised her eyebrows at him. "Hermione, you don't want to be here right now."

"I know, I know," She sounded guilty. "I promised Ron that I wouldn't interfere with your night tonight. It's just we're so close to figuring out our problem and we really didn't want to stop just yet. Please, I'll just sneak up and you all can pretend I was nev-" Hermione didn't get to finish as another loud moan cut her off.

"OH RON!"

It was quickly followed by a loud, "LAVENDER!"

Hermione stopped moving. The men weren't even sure she was breathing anymore. They all watched with apprehension as they waited to see what the most terrifying witch they knew decided what she was going to do. Hermione blinked and raised her hand to her face, stunned when it came back wet. She swallowed harshly, shaking her head, as she processed what she just heard. She was so completely blindsided by Ron's cheating that she didn't know how she should respond. Should she race up the stairs and hex the bastard into next week? Should she sit down and get drunk? Should she just leave?

She glanced around the room and saw that they were all waiting for her. She knew by how they were looking at her that even if she didn't bother to hex Ron, his brothers, her pseudo-brothers were all going to pound him into the ground as soon as she gave them the go ahead. She turned to Harry. The wizard who had never left her, the one who was always there, the one who was her brother in all but blood. She hadn't seen him so angry since the war. He held out his arms to her but she shook her head. If she went into his comforting arms, she'd break, and she would not do such in front of so many people. Instead she glanced down at her left hand. She stared in sadness at the innocent seeming ring on her finger and finally she got angry.

Ripping the solitaire diamond off of her ring finger Hermione whipped her wand out and wordlessly cast a spell onto the offending circle. She heard a snort from Bill and she glanced up at him. She knew that as a high level curse-breaker he had recognized the wand movement – he knew exactly what curse she placed on the ring and from his expression he wholeheartedly agreed with it. She nodded stiffly at the men as a goodbye and walked back to the fireplace. On the ledge above she placed the ring and added a compulsion spell keyed to Ronald so that she knew he would be the only one to pick it up. She swallowed again and then with a look of determination stepped into the floo as she called out her new destination. "The Burrow."

Confusion turned into horror and then into appreciation as the six wizards realized what Hermione was going to do with the information she was given. They laughed heartily. They knew that their baby brother was going to have a very rough night – starting with the beating they were going to give him _before_ their mother arrived to handle the situation. Ronald Weasley wasn't going to be sitting down for weeks. They laughed even harder when Bill explained the curse that Hermione had placed onto the engagement ring – Ron wouldn't be getting _any_ witch off, anytime soon.

Hermione Granger most definitely wasn't the type of witch you'd want to anger.


End file.
